I scribbled these notes ages ago, and thought I’d better post them before 5b drops (May 28^th, people! It’s almost here!!). Readers beware: this isn’t a proper review of Season Five, because I can’t really judge something that isn’t complete. So, instead I give you some random fangirl thoughts and feels! (Plus, since you’re such good DevilBunnies, a few Lucific recs to boot.) 🙂

Episode 1: Really Sad Devil Guy

Great opener! We get to see how Chloe and Luce are coping in their separate realities. I love the Chlaze partnership. It has been WAY too long since we’ve seen Chloe and Maze as anything more than frosty acquaintances. Having them be friends and even work partners was like a delicious peppermint candy. Too bad I got greedy and crunched it up. It was gone far too soon. Seriously, just one episode and then poof to the Chloe/Maze relationship? Such a bummer. Hope it’s back in 5b. Other things I loved about this ep:

-The wistful expression on Lucifer’s face when he looks out across Marina del Rey. That aching sadness in his eyes says more than words ever could about how long he’s been away from the world – and the people – he loves.

-The parallel case solving, with Lucifer in Hell and Chloe in LA. So cool! It was awesome how they went up and down between the two dimensions and sometimes when a scene started you didn’t know yet where it was taking place.

-Mr. Said Out Bitch! Of course he had to be in it, because it’s a season opener! But, on the downside…he’s dead now, so what does that mean for the Season Six premiere? Souls coming to Earth? A trip down to the underworld? I hope they found a creative way to include him in the final opener. 🙂

-The demon that came to talk to Chloe – he was so cheerful and happy and friendly, which was at complete odds with the fact of him inhabiting this horribly wounded dead body. He’s all chipper and like, “Hi! I’m a demon!” right after choking on a throatful of blood. He even apologizes for being “gross.” Hilarious. I think we need this demon back again. Though sadly it would have to be a different actor portraying him, since that body was apparently “too jacked to keep working,” lol.

-Speaking of demons, we learned that various “characters” who appear in the Hell loops are actually played by demons. Does this include the version of Uriel that Lucifer saw in his own Hell loop? Was that a demon torturing his own king? Just something interesting the episode made me think about!

-The ending was a twist! I’d accidentally been spoiled about the Michael thing beforehand (this is why I try to avoid Twitter), but the writers still fooled me. I totally thought it was Lucifer who came to save Chloe and Lee’s sister at the end. My jaw dropped a little at the reveal that Luce was still in Hell. Me loves to be surprised. 😀

Episode 2: Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer!

If you ignore the fact that it’s Michael and not Lucifer, this episode is actually really shippy. Chloe is flirting, concerned about his well-being, trying to understand the struggles he’s facing after being in Hell for so long. In short, she’s being a really sweet, awesome girlfriend. The makeout scene with Maze/Michael is hard to swallow because of how much it hurts poor Chloe. So glad she realizes in the end that it wasn’t really Luci, cuz he would never do that to her. Still, ouch! I like how Tom is playing Michael, using a distinctive posture/accent and the whole wimpy/whiny/bitchy vibe to really sell that it’s two different characters. I love, love, love Chloe shooting him at the end. 🙂 Too bad it didn’t take the sting out of Michael letting the whole miracle thing out of the bag (something I totally believe Lucifer would’ve told her himself if he’d had more time on Earth). Also, on a somewhat random note, the scorpion at this beginning of this ep looked very nice, and was the first of many superb special effects this season, making me wonder if the show got a bigger effects budget, or if it’s some improvement on the technology side of things. Whatever the cause, Lucifer seems to have upped its FX ante, and I am loving the eye candy. Keep it coming!

Episode 3: ¡Diablo!

My first instinct was that this episode was too goofy for dealing with the heavy subject matter of Chloe grappling with the whole miracle sitch. However, it’s a hard episode not to love, and it’s definitely grown on me with repeated viewings. For once it is Chloe and not Lucifer who is searching for the answer to personal problems in between the lines of their current case, so that’s a fun reversal. Too bad the person she thought had the answers was actually a psycho killer chick! As a huge Deckerstar fan, it was rough not to have a real reunion like the characters deserved, because it was already tainted by the miracle revelation. 😦 But instead of the longed-for Deckerstar, we did at least get some Douchifer, which was totally on my wishlist for S5 after being sorely lacking last season. Other highlights of this ep:

-Diablo – OMG, how could you not love this sweet, dumb-yet-somehow-smart actor taking his role way too seriously? It was so great how no one ever even called him by his real name. He was just “Diablo.” How could his costar kill him? How could anyone? It’s like shooting a litter of newborn chinchillas with an AK-47. You just can’t. Plus he solved the case! Diablo FTW, Dad rest his soul. 🙂

-The clown room in Hell. Do I even need to say anything here? Totally priceless.

-Dan, Ella, and Lucifer acting out a ¡Diablo! episode. Best. Scene. Ever. “Now I can…put my bra back on?” ROFL!

-Lucifer mentions being able to “listen to” Chloe’s conversation from well outside a room with the door closed, and also talks about Dan’s bone density like it’s something Lucifer can actually see. Are these hints at some devilish superhuman sensory abilities? My fangirl heart hopes so! 🙂

Episode 4: It Never Ends Well for the Chicken

I enjoyed this one as much as I could, given that it’s one of those eps. By those, I mean the noir-style, black-and-white, everybody-playing-a-different-character eps. A lot of shows do these. Smallville did one. They’re not really my jam. The fact that this one is Lucifer telling a story to Trixie about events that actually happened saves it a little bit, as does the fact that it moves Maze’s arc forward, but still, this type of episode is never going to be a favorite for me. (Ditto for musical episodes – not my style. At all.) I hope the people who do like this sort of thing enjoyed it!

Cool things about this ep:

-As mentioned above, these were actual events, not a dream or fantasy sequence (which most episodes of this type tend to be) so kudos on that.

-DB Woodside’s character was HIL-arious! Ditto for Kevin Alejandro’s prissy, super-wimpy counterpart. 🙂 Those guys must’ve had such a blast. In general, it looked like everyone was really having fun with their new roles, which was cool to watch.

-Sooooo nice to see Tricia back! Made me miss Charlotte (and Mum) so much! The love story between her and Lauren’s character was touching to watch, as was Rachel Harris’s character’s devotion to her beloved wounded war veteran.

-Lesley-Ann did a great job portraying Lilith. The friendship between Lily and Lucifer was sweet. I especially liked when they sang “Someone to Watch Over You.” It was very clear they’d been through a lot together and had a mutual respect for each other.

-I love that we got some Trixie/Lucifer scenes – there are never enough of these, and they’re always gold. Part of me was a little sad at the reveal that Trixie was just manipulating Lucifer to get information for Maze. It makes total sense, though – Trixie has outgrown her “complete adoration” phase when it come to Lucifer, so of course her loyalties would lie with Maze, who treats her as a best friend and doesn’t just call her “child” or “offspring,” lol. Plus, Trixie has always had a taste for cold hard cash. 🙂

We learned a lot about Lilith here, including that she was immortal until fairly recently, that she “chose” to have soulless children and send them to Hell to be Lucifer’s army, and that her immortality now resides in Lucifer’s ring. There are still so many questions, though! Like, I feel stupid for asking this, but what exactly is she? I mean, is she a previously-unkillable human like Cain? Or is she another sort of creature entirely? Do her children have fathers (or a father)?

ETA: I actually did a little research on the history of Lilith throughout various religious texts and early folklore, and there was not a lot of agreement on what she is, though I did find references to her being Adam’s first wife, and her having tons and tons of demonic children – in some accounts they are Adam’s, in other accounts the fathers are men she had sex with or stole “seed” from in their sleep. She is associated with owls and other night creatures/demons, and is often depicted with wings and sometimes with scales/reptile features. In some stories she is actually the serpent in the Garden of Eden, rather than Lucifer! Lilith was believed by many to prey on men for sex and to harm women (especially pregnant ones) and children in their sleep. In some versions she left Adam and the Garden because she refused to be anything less than Adam’s equal, which has made her a symbol of female empowerment. One last interesting tidbit: in one of the tales, God commands that 100 of Lilith’s children be slaughtered every day until she returns to Eden. In our Luci-verse, perhaps this could be the real reason she “chose” to send her kids to Hell? To protect them from God’s wrath? Hmmmm….

Episode 5: Detective Amenadiel

A fantastic ep, and arguably my favorite of the season! 😀 Chloe and Amenadiel have this great dynamic and we almost never get to see them spending time together, so this was a real treat. In this ep we also got more Douchifer (YESSSSSSS!! Bracelet Bros, FTW!), and got to see Amenadiel be a kick@$$ angel with an impressive show of power at the end there. I love the title’s double meaning, because Amenadiel is not only helping to solve a murder here – he is also solving a major problem for his little bro and Chloe. Amenadiel’s wonderful insight into the Deckerstar dilemma felt so refreshing and so right after all the agony both characters have been through thinking they were forced to have feelings for each other and that their relationship was all some grand manipulation by a higher power.

“You are the only mortal who sees him as he truly is.”

“He thinks you choose to be vulnerable with me.”

**cue Deckerstar fangirl squeals!!!!**

Episode 6: BluBallz

Aaaand our nice moment gets interrupted by a murder! Thanks a lot, Ella! I did really like the bait and switch at the beginning, when it looked like we were watching Chloe and Lucifer together and it was really just some random teenagers fooling around on the beach. And then it looked like the teenagers were going to get killed, but the weapon turned out to be a squirt gun. Very playful on the part of the writers. Fun stuff. 🙂

So, we got to meet one of Chloe’s exes. I didn’t like him at all, but I don’t think we were supposed to, lol! He just seemed very…empty. Like there wasn’t a whole lot beneath the handsome exterior. His “niceness” felt false, as if it were merely an act he was putting on to impress people while hoping they didn’t look too deep. As far as Chloe’s exes go, Dan has way more character in his pinky finger than this guy!

Still, jealousy is not anyone’s best color, and even Lucifer can’t quite make that green envy look good. I couldn’t really blame him too much though because he and Chloe just got together and yet she tells What’s-His-Face (seriously, I forgot his name) that she’s not in a relationship. Right in front of Lucifer. Ouch. Dang, Decker – that was cold. I mean, true, it was probably too soon to define their relationship as “dating,” but she could’ve said something closer to the truth, like, “Actually, I am involved with someone right now. It’s still really early, but we’re seeing where it goes.” I’m just saying, you could see why Luce got upset. And unfortunately, when he gets upset, he acts out in very ridiculous and childish ways.

Despite the silliness and stupidity of Lucifer’s antics, this episode actually had some major events:

-Tribe Night #2 (Love it like crazy, especially the Chloe/Linda talk about sex with Lucifer, and “nice” Maze barely surviving small talk with Karen)

-Dan sees the Devil Face (OMDOMDOMD!). Love how Michael was the one who orchestrated this event. Double love Charlie’s reaction to Uncle Lucifer’s monstrous side. 🙂 The baby loves it, ROFL! Charlie would probably really like Maze’s demon face too. That kid’s gonna need sooooo much therapy when he grows up. Good thing Linda’s his mom! 🙂

-Chloe and Lucifer finally, finally make it past their NUMEROUS issues and actually get together!!!! WOO HOO!!!!

Episode 7: Our Mojo

Great episode here! Definitely a S5 favorite. This one starts out all cute and fluffy, but quickly goes down a dark path as the team hunts a particularly vicious killer. Some shows do serial killers on a weekly basis and it gets old pretty fast, but on Lucifer these types of cases are a rare event, often reserved for multi-ep arcs like this one. When we face a serial killer on this show, I know it’s going to be epic and it’s really going to change things for the characters, so I am instantly on high alert.

Oh, poor Detective Douche. His graveyard breakdown talking to Charlotte was absolutely heart-shattering. Kudos to Kevin on that scene, and just in general for making us care so deeply about a character who could easily be unlikable given all the stuff he’s done in the past. Dan’s stolen evidence and gotten people killed and basically even put a hit on Lucifer in S4, and yet somehow we still love him and I’d say that’s in large part due to Kevin’s portrayal.

Then “angelic” Michael shows up, and the scene shifts from devastating to nauseating. I’m sorry, but Michael is just so icky! He’s like nails on a chalkboard mated with tin foil scraping across my teeth. If this character has any redeeming qualities, they’ve yet to make themselves known.

In this ep, Michael introduces himself as an archangel. I believe this is the first use of the term on the show and the first indication of “ranks” among the angels. On Supernatural they had four of these angels: Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, and Lucifer. They were the most powerful angels and killing them required a special weapon (an archangel blade), as regular angel blades would not hurt them. In this case, since it was Michael referring to himself, I kind of brushed it off as him trying to sound really important and special. Yet, in the next episode, Lucifer also refers to Michael as an archangel. So I’m assuming Michael really is one. We’ve yet to learn what this means on the show and if any of the other angels carry that title.

The mojo swap was the fun part of this otherwise serious episode, but it did hurt to see Lucifer so distressed, and I think Linda had a point about Chloe not taking the issue seriously. I love how Lucifer compensated for the loss by getting his own badge and gun (ROFL!) and I love, love, love how Chloe used Lucifer’s gun to stop the super creepy killer guy.

Great cliffhanger ending with Dan holding the gun on Luce! Part of me suspected that Michael would send Dan to kill Lucifer, but for some reason I thought it would be with a supernatural weapon (possibly Azrael’s blade, retrieved from the other universe). The fact that it was just an ordinary gun makes me wonder if Michael really intended Lucifer to die, or if Michael somehow knew what we find out in Ep 8 – that Lucifer is once again fully invulnerable.

Episode 8: Spoiler Alert

Speaking of which…oh no, the vulnerability around Chloe is kaput! They hinted a bit at this in the previous episode, with Lucifer looking very troubled over the fact that he’s let his guard down so much. This set-up seems to indicate that he subconsciously decided to put his walls back up, and thus made himself bulletproof again, but I’m not sure that’s the case. I think other forces may be at work. In any case, I hope he gets the vulnerability back at some point, because without it, every fanfic I’ve ever read, written, or planned to write is kinda dead in the water. 😦

I’m glad we had a few light moments at the beginning of this one (Lucifer shooting himself and delighting at the lack of damage, Chloe’s expression when Lucifer happily agrees to her sarcastic suggestion to split up), because after that it gets DARK.

Chloe’s kidnapping and the search for her is so intense. Whenever I’m squirming in my seat while watching an episode, it means I’m really, really nervous about what’s going to happen, and I was writhing like a bag of snakes while watching this one!

I was afraid from early on in the ep that the real Whisper Killer might be Pete. It’s always the nice guys, right? I was really hoping it wasn’t, because he seemed so sweet and so perfect for Ella, but once he gave her that key to his house, I knew for sure it was him. My heart breaks for poor Ella, but at least she’s alive (the writers had me scared for a minute there), and the team finally did figure out where Chloe was with a little help from a very intoxicated Dan. Plus we got our first reference to events from the episode “Boo Normal,” which was cool. 😀

Of course, not all’s well that ends well. Ella is an offscreen wreck, Chloe is insecure about Lucifer’s feelings for her (as a viewer, I have NO doubt whatsoever that he loves her, but I understand how it feels from her perspective: she’s been unceremoniously dumped – twice – for reasons totally beyond her comprehension, and that would give anyone serious misgivings), Michael’s scheming as always, Dan’s barely clinging to sanity, Maze is once again in hardcore betrayal mode, and Amenadiel’s having a time-freezing panic attack.

I initially thought Chloe’s frozenness had something to do with Lucifer starting to say the “L” word, like he inadvertently set some sort of apocalypse in motion by saying it, but thankfully I was wrong. Poor Amenadiel just doesn’t want Charlie to die. 😦 What parent wouldn’t stop time for their kid if they had the power to do so?

Re: Maze: It hurts to see her fighting alongside Michael, but honestly, can you blame her? Lucifer treats her like complete crap. He is totally insensitive to her feelings, as if she is not capable of emotion or attachments, when she has shown very clearly (through her bonds to Trixie and Linda) that she is capable of those things. Lucifer uses her when he needs her, but otherwise casts her aside like she’s worthless. So yeah, no wonder she sides with Michael.

Which makes it a more even fight, and what an EPIC fight it is! OMD, once again I bow to the show’s FX gods. That broken glass scene was especially phenomenal. Truly breathtaking!

And then, as if we needed even more drama heaped on top of it all, God shows up! All I can say is: a) I did NOT see that coming at all, and b) what appropriate casting :D.

So, I have no freaking idea where all of this is going, but for me that makes it way more fun. I hate spoilers and love surprises and I’m so ready for the next chapter in this incredible story. Can’t wait for May 28^th!

If you need something to keep you from squirming like a bag of snakes while you wait, check out these two awesome and totally epic Lucifics (As always, please read the content and age-level warnings before you start reading the actual stories. The second one, in particular, has very graphic and adult content.):

“Rebehold the Stars” by Snowlynx40

Summary: What if Kinley’s poison still managed to find its way into Lucifer that night? Can Lucifer and Chloe learn to trust each other again, or will Lucifer run if he can recover?

“For Each Ecstatic Instant” by ariaadagio

Summary: After a five month absence, an amnesiac Lucifer returns from Hell, mysteriously cursed to fulfill Chloe Decker’s every desire—the first pull from an apocalyptic house of cards. As natural order shows signs of structural collapse, Lucifer and Chloe must discover how to free him from his bonds, and solve the puzzle of his reappearance. Meanwhile, their newest murder investigation draws them deep into an exploration of BDSM. Harbingers, Hell, devilish hijinks, and kinks. What’re a beleaguered Devil and Detective to do?

Enjoy, and I’ll be thinking of y’all on May 28th! 😀