Author: astheheroflies

The Race: Week Five

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THE RACE: WEEK FIVE (October 21st-27th)

Monday

Beauty and the Beast (9/8c, CW) – Much to my dismay, I missed most of this ep due to a scheduling conflict. Lacking the help of my trusty VCR, I had to rely on the last 15 minutes to piece together what I’d missed, and it looks like I missed A LOT. Vincent apparently physically assaulted Cat, and she covered it up. Cat took a lie detector test and used extreme measures (antiperspirant on her FOREHEAD???) to protect Vincent. He returned the favor by faking a memory of the two of them and taking advantage of Cat’s excitement over said memory to weasel information out of her for his own agenda. Vincent rescuing Cat from atop the elevator while having a REAL flashback of their past was a powerful, breathtaking moment – but his end-of-ep sincerity was too little, too late. Considering everything he’s been putting her through lately, Cat was right to close the door – er – window on him. SCORE: Withheld until I can see the whole ep.

Castle (10/9c, ABC) – Best episode of Castle EVER? Maybe not, but it came darn close! I love, love, love (imagine fifty more “love”s tossed in there) time travel stories, and this one was sublime. I was riveted the whole episode, cherishing each new thrilling development, while simultaneously dreading the end of the ep, when the mundane “rational” explanation for everything would be revealed. But Castle outdid itself in a way I never expected – they left the ending OPEN. They let us believe that maybe these guys WERE time-travelers. They allowed – even encouraged! – us keep believing in wonky futuristic scanners, twisty-turny timelines, and Castle and Beckett married one day with three kids. It was dramatic, exciting, fun, and yes, a little bit chilling, too (when Beckett spilled the coffee at the end…**shiver**). This ep was a ride, and I didn’t want to get off. SCORE: 9/10

Tuesday

Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (8/7c, ABC) – Scheduling conflict strikes again! Missed the first half, and apparently some majorly important stuff happened in those thirty minutes. This really is a show you can’t afford to miss a moment of – not if you want to have a clue what’s happening – and I found that out the hard way. As to what I DID see: Skye’s betrayal of the group hurt, but it seems she was betrayed, too. Scorch was a blast (literally) and the stuff about naming him earned several chuckles. The ending with Skye and Coulson was powerful and emotional, and I could only imagine how much more gripping it would have been if I’d seen the whole ep and knew the full context. As it was, I can only guess that this was one of the best episodes yet. SCORE: Withheld until I can see the ep in its entirety.

Supernatural (9/8c, CW) – Oh, poor Cass! Poor, poor, POOR Cass! Supernatural has always been a show that exemplifies the “show, don’t tell” storytelling technique, and this ep was a prime example. Every moment of Castiel’s homeless, cold, hungry, desperate misery was documented onscreen in painful detail, until I was shivering in the rain right along with him. Castiel’s relief at finally having a safe place to stay with food and friends filled me with warmth, as though I’d just eaten a hearty bowl of soup after spending hours out in the bitter wind. Dean kicking Cass out at the end was so utterly brutal. I wanted to cry. I can only hope the show understands that not allowing Castiel to stay at the batcave does NOT have to equal abandoning him. I was shouting at the screen in those last moments: “Give him your car, Dean! Give him some money, give him some food, give him keys to a hunting cabin somewhere! Call Garth to come protect him!” Bonus points given for pure emotionality, Cass getting “deflowered,” the sheer CREEPINESS of Sam unknowingly being inhabited by another creature, Jared rocking dual performances as Sam and Zeke, clever use of a TV evangelist character, and Zeke bringing Cass back to life. Points deducted for: continuing last year’s trend of making a class of once-mysterious and elusive creatures (Reapers) fully corporeal and dreadfully ordinary. They were SO much cooler when you had to be dead/dying/out-of-body to even see them. SCORE: 8.75/10

Chicago Fire (10/9c, NBC) – And the firehouse drama continues. My heart shatters every time I look at Shay. I give the show major credit for not quickly wrapping up the fallout from her devastating experience in the previous episode. I’m so glad New Guy (sorry, I haven’t learned his name yet) gave Shay some much-needed advice, but I’m not sure she’ll take it to heart. I don’t trust the photographer-lady Shay is hooking up with, and I have a feeling that camera will come back to haunt her. As far as Zoya’s green-card issues go – can’t blame a girl for trying! Who could resist falling for Severide? (Not me!) Matt’s doing great with the boys (kudos to the show for writing some realistic bonding scenes), and Mills’ Freudian slip made me cringe and cover my face. The Chief’s health news was very unexpected, and I couldn’t help but wonder how much of a role it played in his decision to retire. Also: Benny Severide as the new chief??? Can we say “BAD IDEA”? I await his reign with equal parts anticipation and dread. How is it possible to be charismatic and slimy at the same time? Somehow, Benny pulls it off. SCORE: 7/10

Thursday

Elementary (10/9c, CBS) – When Sherlock’s bored, you know there’s bound to be trouble! Loved him and Watson fishing for potential murder victims at the morgue. The platypus skull was cute, and Sherlock being the one who slept with Joan’s friend was downright HILARIOUS. Definitely my favorite twist of the episode. The case portion of the ep was a fun road trip with lots of dead ends and u-turns, but I am and always will be a “character girl,” so, as usual, Joan and Sherlock’s personal stories were what held my attention. SCORE: 6.5/10

Friday

Grimm (9/8c, NBC) – The end of last season was very slightly re-written – and for good reason. Last year’s finale basically had all of Nick’s friends diving into a car and ditching him to the tune of, “Nick’s a Grimm, he can take care of himself!” I thought that was pretty lame, so I’m happy the show chose a different route – even if it meant fudging the writing a bit. Here we had Nick’s buddies use the car as a means of searching the container yard. Rather than ditching Nick, they were trying to find him (while mowing down a few zombies in the process). As usual, this ep included several laugh-out-loud moments courtesy of Monroe, some hard-core action (do NOT mess with zombie-Nick), and the show’s trademark gross-out gore (dismembered hands and feet, anyone?). All in all, a fun one. They almost always are. 🙂 SCORE: 7/10

Sunday

The Mentalist (10/9c, CBS) – Welcome back, Creepy Ray! Welcome back, Visualize! The case of the empty-room struggle and the stretchy-band murder weapon disposal were cool, but they took a back seat to the more intriguing story of Cho’s love-interest-turned-stalker-turned-spy-turned-Red John-victim. (Try saying that three times fast). That lady definitely kept me guessing until the end. I’m sorry she got murdered, but at least she was able to convey some useful info. I don’t know how the team can assume that RJ was actually the one who hired the girl, though. He could have sent a minion to hire (and kill) her. Also, did anyone else think she was just repeatedly pointing to the location of the tattoo, rather than attempting to draw the actual image in blood? Then again, Jane’s instincts are better than mine, so the tatt probably IS three dots. Ray’s warning near the end seemed very dire – I thought he might be dead before the end of the ep, but it didn’t happen. Bonus points given for: Cho and Rigsby’s cute little fruitbowl scene, several satisfyingly complex mysteries, and a heart-pounding, edge-of-the-seat ending. Points deducted for: Cho’s sloppy questioning of the PI Lady. When’s my favorite interrogator going to learn to stop feeding information to the people he’s questioning??? You don’t say, “Who hired you? Visualize?” You just say, “Tell me who hired you. NOW.” Grrrrrr. SCORE: 7.5/10

And the winner is…Castle, for an exquisitely-delivered time-travel roller-coaster that made my fangirl heart swoon. Supernatural noses into a close second for continuing to deliver the kind of sharp, Kripke-quality eps that made me fall in love with this show in the first place. Kudos!

The Race: Week Four

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THE RACE: WEEK 4 (October 14-20)

Monday

Beauty and the Beast (9/8c, CW) – Poor Cat! Vincent unties her, sleeps with her, and then ties her back up! How insulting. I don’t think she should’ve done the horizontal tango with him – at this point, they are essentially strangers. She must be REALLY desperate to jog his memory. Too bad it backfired on her. Vincent – if it’s even really him – seems attentive to Cat at times, yet completely indifferent to her at others. Huh. His violent freak-out at the end was well-done. I felt genuinely scared for Cat. I like how Vincent’s mission this time was to save someone, rather than commit another murder. Keeping the focus on Vincent (and whatever he’s up to each episode) is working well, and deleting the case-of-the-week element has definitely helped tighten up the show. Not sure what to make of Gabe right now. He appears to be sincere in his desire to help both Cat and Vincent, but I don’t think I can ever completely trust him. Looking forward to seeing how this new alliance works out. SCORE: 7/10

Castle (10/9c, ABC) – Castle as a hostage negotiator = awesome. This one had a good storyline. The stakes were high – especially whenever Castle was with the gunwoman – yet the trademark humor was present as well (“Cheeseburgers!”). The guest star was engaging and sympathetic. I fully bought her performance as a troubled, desperate woman, and I’m glad Castle and Co. were able to clear her name. As an added bonus, Beckett got her job back at the end of the ep. I just hope the show keeps up that sparkly-fresh feeling it established in the opening eps, and doesn’t fall back into a rut now that Beckett’s got her old position back. SCORE: 7.5/10

Tuesday

Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (8/7c, ABC) – That eyeball thingy was bad-@$$!  During the surgery scene, I actually had to turn away from the screen – multiple times. Ewwwwww! But the good kind of “ew.” Like Sam’s eye getting scooped out on Supernatural. Great stuff. Aside from the heart-pumping action, we once again got to look deeper at Coulson and Skye, as well as some new characters. Bonus points given for the creepy dudes in red masks. A highly entertaining, well-balanced ep. SCORE: 8/10

Supernatural (9/8c, CW) – Cool restoration of Abaddon’s body! Also, I like her plan to have demons inhabiting soldiers and behaving like warriors. Seems like a smart move on her part. In contrast, bringing Crowley back to the Bat Cave seemed like a stupid move, especially given that Kevin is staying there. Wouldn’t one of Bobby or Rufus’ remote cabins have been more appropriate? If those weren’t viable, then at least Sam and Dean should have made sure Kev could not access Crowley. The King of Hell was able to play with Kevin far too easily. Also, Sam and Dean didn’t seem well enough prepared for walking into a demon trap – I fully expected Ezekiel to pop out and save the day, and sure enough, he did. Major points given, though, for how ragged Zeke’s wings looked when he emerged, Jared’s utterly convincing performance a the angel in Sam’s body, and Dean’s long-overdue speech to Kevin (just wish I knew if Dean really meant it…). Points deducted for Dean not even asking about their hunter friend who got killed, and no one making any attempt to bury/pay respects to the guy’s body. The whole group just sort of drove off in a happy mood, like the guy never even existed. This is not like Sam and Dean at all. Also, Tiger Mommy might be alive, and no one’s going to look for her? Shame on you, Dean! SCORE: 7.5/10

Chicago Fire (10/9c, NBC) – Talk about a raw and gripping episode. The show took brutally painful subject matter, and did it justice. My heart broke for Shay. I wished for her to confide in Severide, rather than letting the guilt eat her alive. Great exploration of how small, seemingly innocent gestures from one person can have a huge impact on another. I also like how Severide’s and Shay’s storylines paralleled one another, with each character trying to talk someone down, and neither one succeeding. The conclusion of the arsonist arc paled a little in comparison to the power of Shay and Dawson’s story. The contrast in how the two women handled the trauma was well-done and believable (though I kinda hate the way Dawson basically laid the blame on Leslie). Hated to see them fighting, when they normally get along so well. Loved the twist of Dawson’s scummy date actually being an undercover cop. SCORE: 8.5/10

Thursday

Elementary (10/9c, CBS) – Verrrry interesting storyline. Great glimpse into Sean – ahem – Sherlock’s boarding school days. The well-crafted plot-twists took a backseat to the emotional tales of three people who had suffered terrible abuse. Young Sherlock found his calling through correspondence with a killer, who eventually found her redemption by protecting another killer. Wildly complex, yet very satisfying. Bonus points for Sherlock’s warning to the murderer at the end, the scene where Sherlock confided in Watson, and Watson’s super-sleuthing with regards to the tattoo. SCORE: 8/10

Sunday

The Mentalist (10/9c, CBS) – Okay, my bad – the FBI guy’s name is Reed(e) Smith, not Agent Reid (guess I had Criminal Minds on the brain last week). I vaguely remember him from early Season Five. I think he was going to have a bigger role last year – possibly some type of romance with Lisbon? – but I guess the writers dropped that storyline. They dropped Cho’s rapid-response team/Tamsen romance storyline last year, too (or at least woefully underused it). Anyway, for the most part I had forgotten all about Agent Smith, until he popped up as one of the Red John suspects. I’m digging him now, though – he does clueless well, and evil even better. Tyger, tyger! Great to finally know Kirkland’s backstory, even if it meant losing the character. I’m assuming his twin was identical, and that’s why he kept asking suspects, “Do you know who I am? Have you ever seen me before?” Not sure why he killed the guy in the hospital last year, though – couldn’t Kirkland have used that guy to find Red John? Also, why did Kirkland assume his brother died? Red John has given people new identities before…In any case, this ep was exciting, informative, and all the better for not being bogged down by an unrelated case-of-the-week. Bonus points awarded for: Jane and Lisbon’s contrasting views on whether the fake suspects should be protected (when she said, “That’s the difference between you and me,” and Jane just smiled…so cute!), Rigs and Van Pelt’s newlywed subplot, concrete confirmation of Red John’s law enforcement network, a Minelli mention (yay!), and the return of Hightower (double yay!). Points deducted for: severe Cho neglect. SCORE: 8/10

And the winner is…

Chicago Fire, for a shocking, painful, and – above all – memorable episode.

The Race: Week Three

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THE RACE: WEEK 3 (October 7-13)

Monday

Beauty and the Beast (9/8c, CW) – The Beast is back…but he doesn’t remember anything – even Cat! Cool way to create fresh tension and distance between two characters who arguably got together too early in Season One. I’m a sucker for amnesia storylines, but I’m not even convinced the guy we just met is actually the REAL Vincent. Why would his scar be gone? Maybe it’s the X-Files fangirl in me, but I think I smell a clone. Can’t wait to see what surprises await on this new season with a new showrunner! SCORE: 7/10

Castle (10/9c, ABC) – The excitement from the high-drama, two-part opener has waned somewhat as we return to regular procedural episodes. A fairly run-of-the-mill ep which still found creative ways to explore how Beckett and Castle are navigating their new relationship. Kudos to Castle for getting the DC apartment! Kudos to Beckett for not letting that girl get thrown to the Russian mafia wolves! My only wish: that Beckett had chosen to leave the job, rather than getting fired. SCORE: 6.5/10

Tuesday

Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (8/7c, ABC) – Top-notch effects, as ever, but that’s old news. This is the episode where I started to get attached to the characters. I felt genuine compassion for Skye, and Coulson is fast becoming more endearing than he ever was in the movies. I get a sense of his gentle-yet-strong spirit, and his deep devotion to his mission and those working under him. Oh, and did I mention that Fitz-Simmons are completely adorkable? SCORE: 7.5/10

Supernatural (9/8c, CW) – I was on the edge of my seat before the premiere even started, mostly due to the fact that we almost couldn’t get the station to tune in. Thankfully, the television gods were smiling upon me, the rabbit ears tilted into position at exactly the right moment, and I sat back for an absolutely phenomenal episode of Supernatural. Loved the battle taking place inside Sam, as well as the one out in the real world. Loved Castiel’s subplot, and Dean’s extremely controversial choice to let an angel inhabit Sam. Arguably the least acceptable thing Dean has ever done to save Sam, and yet I totally bought it. Not out-of-character at all. Last season, much of the conflict between Sam and Dean stemmed from Sam’s OOC actions (not looking for Dean in Purgatory). Here, we have REAL conflict based on Dean’s IC actions. SOOOOO much better. If I didn’t know otherwise, I’d say Kripke was back. I truly cannot wait to see how this incredibly complicated storyline plays out. SCORE: 9/10

Chicago Fire (10/9c, NBC) – Another great installment. Points added for the intense confrontations with Hadley, the return of Severide’s difficult daddy, the bonding between Matt and the boys, and Molly’s Bar’s silent partner rearing his ugly head once more. Major points deducted, though, for the spoonful of cinnamon storyline. I cannot bring myself to believe any firefighter would even consider doing that “challenge,” much less promoting it on his webcast. SCORE: 6/10

Thursday

Elementary (10/9c, CBS) – Looks like EVERYONE is out to get Sherlock and Watson. Scary how fast a bunch of hackers can turn one’s life into a digital hell. The case was well-paced and fun, but, as usual, one of the quiet moments near the end is what makes this ep shine. Joan: “I shouldn’t be the only one who knows you.” Awwwwwww. Extra points for: Sherlock’s emotional reaction to Moriarty’s letter, Watson’s ever-sharpening sluething skills, and the mental image of Sherlock with a shoe on his head. SCORE: 7/10

Sunday

The Mentalist (10/9c, CBS) – The case-of-the-week plot: so-so. Benjamin in his little glasses: beyond adorable. Rigsby’s proposal: awesome! Van/Rigs wedding: Felt too quick. They should have been engaged for a few eps before we saw them tie the knot. Now I feel like something bad’s going to happen to one or both of them in the near future. I hate that feeling! One thing I did LOVE about the wedding, though: the other character’s reactions. Lisbon looked near tears. Jane was actually IN tears, so torn between great happiness and great sorrow that he couldn’t even bear to be in the room. And then there’s Cho, looking at his WATCH! LOL! Only Cho… 🙂 The Red John stuff was handled nicely, too – the Sheriff played it just right. You could tell the actor was having oodles of fun with the role. I like how they tested him to see if he was afraid of heights, even though Sophie said that might not be what RJ was actually afraid of. I wonder what the official name is for fear of birds? 🙂 Points added for Grace’s heartfelt speech to the bride-to-be, Jane’s thrilling rooftop adventure, and a happy wedding for two very deserving agents. SCORE: 8/10

And the winner is…

Supernatural! It went above and beyond all expectations, and delivered the kind of quality we haven’t seen in a looooong time. A+++++++++++++

The Race: Week Two

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THE RACE: WEEK 2 (September 30-October 6)

Monday

Castle (10/9c, ABC) – Another dynamite ep. I’m probably alone in this, but I actually like it when this show does dramatic storylines as opposed to its usual comedic fare. Just like when Beckett was standing on that bomb last season, this one had me hooked. With Castle’s life on the line, I could feel the desperation of the agents scrambling to save him, the creeping concerns of his uninformed family, and Castle and Beckett’s own angst as the situation slipped steadily out of their control. Put all that together with a genuinely heartbreaking, totally believable case, and you’ve got a stellar episode of Castle. SCORE: 8.5/10

Tuesday

Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (8/7c, ABC) – Still high-quality, with electrifying special FX. Not quite as funny as the pilot, but very entertaining. I wasn’t sure how this show would work without superheroes, but it seems to be chugging along just fine. Totally digging the all the movie references and tie-ins, from exploding people (as seen in Iron Man 3) to mentions of the Tesseract. And I can’t believe they actually got Samuel L. Jackson on there – that was awesome! SCORE: 7/10

Chicago Fire (10/9c, NBC) – Oodles more firehouse drama. I don’t know how they pack so much into each episode! The last thing Matt needs is the added responsibility of two troubled, traumatized young boys, and yet that’s what he got. That’s the way life works sometimes. Renee’s baby was, indeed, the product of a one-night stand. My heart broke a bit for her and Severide. He said earlier that it didn’t change anything between them if the baby wasn’t his, but clearly it did – she walked out, and he didn’t stop her. Oh, and to make things worse for everybody, Hadley, the prankster jerk from Season One, may be the arsonist targeting the firehouse. He sure didn’t deny it, did he? And what is up with Gabriella’s new love interest? Is she taking a break from heroes to fall for a bad guy? Much like CBS’ The Good Wife, Chicago Fire continues to effortlessly juggle numerous characters and plotlines without missing a beat. SCORE: 8/10

Thursday

Elementary (10/9c, CBS) – Very nice B Plot about Watson and the man she accidentally killed. I like the way Sherlock handled it, and the way Watson eventually played her hand. The ending moment between them was sweet. These two characters may not share that magic Jane/Lisbon or Mulder/Scully onscreen chemistry, but in quiet moments, when genuine affections are revealed, this relationship works. SCORE: 7/10

Sunday

The Mentalist (10/9c, CBS) – The hunt continues! I was pretty shocked that Red John left Lisbon there. I thought for sure he’d kidnapped her, and that we’d be going into a fast-paced end-game, climaxing with a Red John/Jane showdown. It seems, though, that the writers want to have a little more fun first. By painting Lisbon’s face like that, I think RJ was playing with Jane – warning our favorite mentalist that Lisbon will be dead before all this is over. Red John marked Lisbon as a future victim, and Jane was suitably freaked. His voice broke as he asked for water, and his hands shook as he desperately washed the blood from Lisbon’s face. A+ acting, A+ creep factor. This whole episode was definitely one of the eeriest Mentalist episodes to date, from Lisbon’s super-scary, blood-drenched nightmare to the numerous interactions she and Jane had with various suspects. Oh, and don’t forget about poor Sophie’s HEAD in the oven. Blech! I actually really loved how they used her as the source of Red John’s inside info – it was something I never thought of in all my theorizing, and it fits really well. I just wish her death had been more than a footnote, though. She was really important to Jane – she saved his life. Haffner whistling “Jimmy Crack Corn” certainly gave me a shudder, but I wouldn’t call him a particularly talented whistler – just average. And what is up with Bertram, the Sheriff, and Agent Reid holding a super-secret meeting? Maybe there is something to that “He is Many” idea after all. SCORE: 8.5/10

This week’s winner: A two-way tie between Castle and The Mentalist, who both brought their A games with top-notch performances and plots.

The Race: Week One

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Fall is one of my absolute favorite times of year. Veteran TV series’ are awakening from their summer slumbers right in time to meet a pack of bright-eyed newbie shows, all pushing and shoving to achieve the coveted status of “hit.” Some of those poor fledglings won’t make it. Some will be cancelled unjustly – others, deservedly so. Some old favorites will fizzle and fade, while others will shine more brightly than ever.

But new or old, comedy or drama, sci-fi or police procedural, they’ll all have a fair chance to win over my fangirl heart. As the race heats up, no one could be more excited than I am to see which show will come out on top.

THE RACE: WEEK 1 (September 23-29)

Monday

Castle (10/9c, ABC) – Very strong opener, especially considering last season’s slightly under-whelming finale. (I ship Caskett as much as the next person, but a full ep of them talking to other people about their relationship status didn’t do it for me.) That said, this one worked. Beckett’s new job and the shifted dynamic between her and Castle gave the show a fresh feel. I like them as an engaged couple. Watching them not be able to investigate together was as frustrating for the viewers as it was for the characters. Kudos to the writers for realistically tackling the challenges associated with this complicated  long-distance relationship. Add in a whopper of a cliffhanger, and you’ve got a pretty flippin’ great episode. SCORE: 8/10

Tuesday

Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (NEW) (8/7c, ABC) – Coulson lives! Been looking forward to this show since I first heard about it, and it didn’t disappoint. Likeable characters, a cool plot, plenty of super-charged action, and Joss Whedon’s typical quirky humor (I’m STILL giggling about that whole “poop with knives sticking out of it” thing). Half a point gets knocked off for a few unclear editing/writing moments, but overall it was a high-quality premiere, and I will definitely watch again. SCORE: 7.5/10

Chicago Fire (10/9c, NBC) – Smokin’ hot, as ever! So glad this one landed a great timeslot following The Voice – I always love it when a network recognizes and rewards quality. Chicago Fire has been must-see TV in our house since midway through Season One, the quality hasn’t slipped a bit in Season Two. The cast is beautiful and talented, and the storylines are engaging. I care about all of the characters on here, not just a few – and that’s rare for a such a large-cast show. This season’s opener picked up right where we left off, with even more complications emerging: An arsonist targeting Severide? And Renee’s baby might not even be his?? Meanwhile Game Day is trouncing Molly’s, Matt just got a load of unneeded guilt dumped on him (he DID buy drinks for those ladies), Gabriella and Shay both have romantic woes, Mills might still be thinking about trading uniforms, there’s a snitch in the firehouse, and Mouch is running for Union Prez. I’d say we’re in for a ride this season. SCORE: 8/10

Thursday

Elementary (10/9c, CBS) – Solid opener. The characters of Lestrade and Mycroft were different than I expected – in a good way. It felt realistic and complicated. I liked the dynamics each character shared with Sherlock. Bonus points given for a cool plot involving a dissolved plastic gun, the nice London scenery, and the part where Mycroft blew up Sherlock’s stuff. Interesting at the end to see Sherlock concerned about Lestrade. Watson: “Welcome to what it feels like to care about an addict.” Well said, Joan! SCORE: 7.5/10

Sunday

The Mentalist (10/9c, CBS) – Picking up right where we left off, on the trail of the ever-elusive Red John. It hurts to see Jane so frustrated! It hurts Lisbon, too – I can tell. She seemed pretty darn freaked out that Jane didn’t seem to know his next move. No excuse for her to betray his confidence, though – telling Van Pelt about the suspect list was SO NOT COOL. I kinda hate that the writers had Lisbon do that…Also kinda hate that the writers had her walk right into a situation that practically had neon signs all around it, flashing, “TRAP! TRAP! TRAP!” She’s smarter than that – and a better cop. If the Red John set-up would have been even a teensy bit less obvious, I could have forgiven the writers, but that was blatant to the point of unrealistic. That said, though, I did adore all the “alone time” Jane and Lisbon shared – even going out of town together, just the two of them! – and the serious Red John discussions between them. The writers are making Jane and Lisbon more like equals, rather than the parent/child dynamic they sometimes shared in the past. Not sure if the show is setting them up to be romantic partners or not, but if so, the writers are on the right track. Mega-points added for the pervading creepiness of the RJ investigation, a nifty stand-alone mystery, and the HUGE cliffhanger ending. Red John has Lisbon???? OH NOES!!! SCORE: 7/10

This week’s winner: The Mentalist, by a nose! Castle and Chicago Fire swoop in to take second and third. Despite not scoring the highest, The Mentalist storyline is one we’ve been waiting to see since the show began. It seems like they’re finally going to wrap up the Red John thing – something they should have done three years ago. I may not agree with every twist and turn, but I sure am thrilled that the writers are biting the bullet and putting it all out there. Here’s hoping they don’t hold back!

Dark Markets and New Stuff!

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I am always eager to pass along anything that might help new writers get published, so I was especially giddy when one of my group members pointed me in the direction of Dark Markets. It’s a market database specifically for all manner of horror and dark fiction, and as a bonus, it’s completely free-to-use. I’ve only had a couple minutes to poke around the site, but the layout is beautiful, and the listings seem really up-to-date. If you’re a writer of creepy-crawly tales, this might be the perfect place to find potential homes for your work.

In other, semi-related news, I’m hoping to compile all the links I’ve shared thus far into a single, user-friendly list. Knowing how things go around here, it’ll probably take a while, but in the end you’ll be able to quickly locate any link I’ve mentioned in any of my posts without having to slog through a slew of old blog entries. Sound good?

In other-other news, I’m introducing a new series of weekly TV reviews called The Race. Instead of focusing in-depth on only my top two shows, I’ll be taking a brief look at all of my favorites, declaring a new “winner” each week. Be on the lookout for short reviews of The Mentalist, Supernatural, Elementary, Castle, Beauty and the Beast, Nikita, Chicago Fire, and Grimm, among others. At the end of the season, only one show will be crowned Best Overall.

One more thing to look forward to on ATHF: Fiction Recommendations! I’m just brimming with awesome fan fiction and original fiction to share, all written by extremely talented authors. I only recommend the best, so I hope you’ll take the time to read the pieces featured here. 🙂

All the best to my fellow fans and authors! Thanks for reading!

-Gretchen

Rejection Letter Revisited

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The following is a personalized rejection letter I received from Every Day Fiction back in 2011. You might be asking yourself why I’m publicly displaying my failure. The answer: I learned from it. Someone in my writing group learned from it. And maybe – just maybe – you can learn from it, too. At the very least, it can be a comforting reminder: Rejection happens to everyone – not just you.

Dear Gretchen Bassier,

Thank you for your submission to Every Day Fiction. I regret to inform you that we are unable to use it at this time.

Very competent prose here, and I liked the buzzing of bees metaphor that you used throughout for Allison. The switcheroo was obviously a nice twist, especially in light of that fact that the attributes given to the other “patients” were all very reasonable and dark-edged when the roles were reversed. This is a close story for me, because I like the twist and enjoyed the flow, but I wanted something a little more from it. I wanted the twist to lead to some other plot development, such as figuring out what was behind the locked doors (the wail from beyond was a foreshadow begging for more). This doesn’t go much further than introducing the switch and then ending, giving it a “first chapter” feel.
— Joseph Kaufman

The prose is pretty solid, except I noticed a typo at the very end with Brute instead of Bruce. The author sets the stage nicely, and this has a very cool Shutter Island sort of feel to it. That said, I’m concerned that this plot has been overdone and that it won’t feel fresh enough to our readers.
— Sealey Andrews

The story was well told and gave the reader many things to be curious about. I liked the imagery in the piece and the use of figurative language in the beginning of the story with the bees. Though I’m left confused- I’m not sure what has happened at the end and think it would need to be played out better for the reader to understand. I get the feeling it is some kind of twist- but I don’t know what the twist was.
— S. A. Ross

Great introduction that really draws the reader in. This story has some good description, too, and the beehive metaphor works.
While the initial dialogue is useful in a show-don’t-tell sort of way, it’s not very unique. This story could start shortly before the forbidden door appears with just a quick summary.
But then things get interesting! Bruce is terrifying and poor Shiri has issues. The perspective totally flips.
This ends up nicely.
— Shelley Dayton

There’s sometimes a fine line between stories that challenge readers preconceptions (which done right, are good) and those that seem to be set ups for trick endings. Here it’s “they’re not really staffers, they’re patients!” The other readers are mixed on this; my feeling is that this one isn’t quite what we’re looking for. I’ll send it along for a final opinion.
— John Towler

Well written with interesting characters, but I’ve seen this twist before (and the reverse of it too, that the “patients” are really staffers), and since the point of the story seems to be the twist itself (rather than character development or a plot beyond the twist) it left me slightly flat.
— Camille Gooderham Campbell

Breaking It Down

As you can see, there are six different critiques in this rejection letter. A six-critique rejection letter is highly unusual, and I think it speaks volumes about EDF’s commitment to helping writers – especially new ones – succeed. I’ve yet to encounter another magazine where every reader takes the time to write detailed comments on every single piece submitted. To this day, it still amazes me.

The reviews are, as one editor mentioned, very mixed. Almost every reader had a different reaction to the story. If you look closely, however, you can see two common threads: 1.) Several readers had seen this plot twist used before, and 2.) There wasn’t enough substance to make the story complete. These are the main two reasons that the story was ultimately rejected – lack of originality, and lack of change.

Re: Lack of Originality:

I once heard a published novelist say that book editors claim to be looking for fresh material, but they’re really not. Novel publishers want something safe. Something proven. Something that will sell. Otherwise, it’s too much of a gamble. And that makes perfect sense – for BOOKS. Short story publishers, on the other hand, are a completely different species. When it comes to short stories, fresh, edgy and innovative are all the rage. Magazines can afford to push boundaries and try new things because there are typically multiple stories per issue – if one particular story flops, there are plenty of others to make up for it. Many mags actually have lists of plotlines and character types they see too often. Read these lists carefully. Read ‘em and heed ‘em.

Re: Lack of Change:

This is exactly what I was talking about in my post The Whole Story. I said I had rejection letters to prove my point, and now you’ve seen one of them. A story isn’t a story without change. Characters need to grow. Stuff needs to happen. There’s only one magazine I know of that doesn’t require a complete story. I think it’s called Vignettes, and I’m pretty sure my story didn’t even qualify as one of those. Remember: A twist ending, on its own, does not a story make.

Hurts So Good

The awesome thing about getting a personalized rejection is that you know exactly why your piece didn’t make the cut. The sucky thing about personalized rejections: you know EXACTLY why your piece didn’t make the cut. Gone are all the little lies you try to tell yourself about why your undeniably incredible story somehow got rejected. No more “Maybe the slush reader just got dumped by her hot boyfriend” or “Maybe they only read the first paragraph and didn’t really give the story a chance.” It wasn’t the slush reader, and it wasn’t an unfair partial reading. It was the story.

That said, not all of the news was bad. They didn’t say I was a crappy writer, just that this particular story didn’t work. In fact, you may notice that most of the readers followed the feedback guidelines I talked about HERE, including positive comments to balance out the criticism. Some nice little nuggets for me to cling onto until the rejection-burn wore off.

And this one did sting – I remember just feeling frozen as I sat there reading the letter for the first time. Kind of crushed, actually. I took it personally (which it never is) and became defensive, wanting to explain some of my creative choices, like the reason I included the handshake scene, or that fact that the “typo” was actually intentional. I had the letter all planned out in my head. I can’t tell you how pathetically grateful I am that I never actually wrote or sent it. Besides being unprofessional and sounding like a whiny two-year-old, it would have accomplished nothing except to annoy the people who spent valuable time trying to help me. Above all, it would have damaged any future chances of being published by the magazine. Thankfully, the intelligent portion of my brain took charge, and I wrote a simple note thanking the staff for their detailed comments.

Now that I’ve had a bit more experience with the submission-rejection cycle, the big “R” isn’t such a troubling thing to find in my inbox anymore. I just sigh, feel bummed out for a few minutes, and then move on. Every now and then, there’s one that I can’t quite shrug off. Usually it’s only when I a.) really thought I had a good chance, b.) really love the magazine, and/or c.) don’t have many/any other submissions out there. I can’t do much to curb a.) and b.), but c.) is an easy fix, and there are a few other things you can do to minimize your trauma and handle the big “R” like a graceful pro:

Some DOs and DON’Ts

DO stagger your submissions, making sure you have several pieces out to several different mags (I like to call this “Keeping Hope Alive”)

DO let yourself feel a little sad about rejection, especially if your hopes were up, BUT,

DON’T EVER act on the urge to defend your work to a publisher who’s already said “no”

DON’T get your hopes TOO high (if you can help it)

DON’T obsess over waiting for one particular result – learn to let each one go and move on to the next project

DO write a “thank you” note if you are lucky enough to get personalized feedback (UNLESS the magazine’s guidelines discourage it)

DO send the same piece to five different markets at once (if they all allow simultaneous subs), but…

DON’T send the same piece to eighty different markets all at once – after the first wave of comments comes in, you may want to make changes before sending the piece out again

DON’T get so caught up in submissions and rejections that you forget why you started writing in the first place

And, above all, DON’T let rejection stop you. If writing is in your heart and your blood and your dreams, then YOU ARE A WRITER. Use criticism to feed your fire, not douse it. Try, fail, learn, get better.

Keep writing.

-Gretchen

Supernatural Review: Episode 8×23 “Sacrifice”

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Review of Episode 8×23: “Sacrifice”
by castiello

I gasped out loud when the Impala got smashed at the end of Season One. I cried during the Season Two closer, as John Winchester emerged from the gates of Hell and helped his boys defeat their life-long nemesis. I covered my eyes as Dean was mauled to death, left my jaw on the floor as Lucifer rose, clutched at my heart as Sam fell into the depths of Hell. Thanks in part to the ever-looming threat of cancellation, Supernatural has learned how to consistently deliver finales that twist our emotions, challenge our minds, and make us oh-so-desperate to know what will happen next. So, how did the Season Eight Finale, “Sacrifice,” measure up against such stiff competition? Let’s have a look:

Dean: Started off too mean for my tastes. Dean quickly earned a frowny face from me when he began enumerating all the things Sam should ask forgiveness for during confession. We’ve rarely seen such nastiness from Dean, not to mention such blatant disregard for Sam’s feelings. It was played half-jokingly, but there was real malice behind it, and that wasn’t lost on Sam. There was another scene like this in “Fallen Idols,” where Dean was on the phone with Bobby, unapologetically blaming Sam for the Apocalypse. Then, as now, I was jarred by how out-of-character this attitude is, coming from a guy who used to spend all of his energy trying to get Sam to stop blaming himself for Jessica’s death. The Dean I know would not want to pile extra guilt on Sam, because Sam already does that to himself.

My frowny face got even frownier as Dean implied that Sam could not be trusted to complete the demon-curing ritual on his own. Note to the writers: a Dean who is nasty and condescending to his little brother is not a Dean at all. It’s just some other guy played by Jensen Ackles.

Fortunately, things improved after takeoff. There were some tender words with Cass, a funny moment with two gay guys in the bar, and then, lo and behold, we got our Brother Moment:

When Dean said to Cass, “Take me to him,” my stomach did that fluttery thing it only does when Dean is in full protective big brother mode. This is the guy I fell in love with waaaaaaay back in Season One. Not the guy who makes nasty jokes about Sam needing a babysitter, but the guy who tells Sam, “I picked you. I killed Benny to save YOU. I’d rather let demons roam the earth than lose YOU.” I loved what Dean said about how they now know enough to turn the tides, I loved how he helped Sam let go of the trials. I love how even after eight seasons, Dean’s deep-down, number one priority is still keeping his little brother alive.

I may have started the ep a little frowny, but by the end I was grinning so hard I almost sprained my face.

Sam: The fact that he was totally willing to die for the cause – not at all surprising. He threw himself into Hell to save the world once – no reason to think he wouldn’t be willing to do it again. What WAS surprising, though, was Sam’s total lack of self-esteem and self-worth. When Dean said, “Finishing the last task will kill you,” Sam’s response was simply, “So?” Like, who cares, right? Shocking to see such a naked self-hatred from someone who has often seemed, at least to me, to have a bit of arrogance. And, although I’ll never condone the “Sam didn’t look for Dean” storyline, Sam’s heartbreak over letting Dean down still rang true. After all, Sam did fail to stop Dean’s death in Season Three, and Sam’s efforts to rescue Dean from The Pit also fell flat, leaving an angel to do the job instead. Sam’s jealously of Castiel is something that’s probably been simmering under the surface since way back in Season Four. Cass did what Sam has repeatedly failed to do – save Dean.

Here, finally, Sam thought he had an opportunity to make up for those failures. He thought locking demon-kind away forever would be the greatest gift he could give to Dean. Fortunately, big brother showed up in time to set him straight. 🙂 It’s always been “family first, job second” for Dean, and the best thing Sam could ever do for his brother is STAY ALIVE.

After a somewhat muddled and uneven storyline for these two brothers, “Sacrifice” has finally put them back on the right track.

Crowley: When he bit Sam, I totally freaked, ‘cause I thought it would somehow de-purify Sam’s blood. Fortunately, it was only a cry for help – and even more fortunately, the person who heard it didn’t give a flying crap about rescuing Crowley. And, although the writers once again failed to have Sam follow the established procedure for curing a demon (the guy in the video was asking QUESTIONS every time he injected the blood – not just walking away!), it was riveting to watch Crowley’s slow transformation. I loved his moment of confusion, his eventual repentance. I truly believed a demon was turning back into a human before my very peepers. Amazing performance by Mark, there, and Jared, too.

Kevin: Kudos to Kev for managing to decipher just enough of the Angel Tablet to confirm that Naomi might be telling the actual truth. By this point, he is totally rocking the prophet thing. It hurts, though, to see how gloomy and downtrodden this once-vibrant young student has become. And what REALLY squashed my poor old heart: apparently, Crowley was telling the truth about Tiger Mommy’s demise. That sound you’re hearing right now isn’t thunder – it’s me growling at the writers.

Sheriff Mills: Confusing haircut aside, once I realized who was sitting at the table with Crowley, my heart began to nosedive. Isn’t it bad enough that we lost Sarah and that kid from “Wendigo”? We couldn’t lose Sheriff Mills, too! And because Supernatural is totally willing to kill off beloved characters without even blinking, I had no idea whether Jody would survive the first five minutes of this episode. Even after all this time, the relief is still palpable. Sheriff Mills lives on! Woo hoo! 🙂 🙂

Abaddon: All hail the King – and for her, that isn’t Crowley. Naturally, one of Lucifer’s Knights isn’t going to take too kindly to the demon who overthrew him. Next time Crowley dials demon 9-1-1, he should probably think about who might be eavesdropping on the line. 🙂

Naomi: She told the truth to Dean and Castiel. She welcomed Cass back to Heaven. She saved Sam’s life. I believe all of it was sincere, but it was the kind of sincere that only comes with the knowledge that time is short. She knew Metatron was probably going to kill her. Therefore, she repented, the same way a condemned murderer might pray for forgiveness on his way to the gallows. Too little, too late? Maybe, but nonetheless it was an achingly good performance by the actress.

Castiel: Wanting to clean up his own mess, willing to face Heaven’s judgment – even if it means death – and, above all, committed to helping Dean when he needs it most. The Cass we know and love from the top of his head to the tips of his pretty wings was out in full force in this ep. I don’t blame him for not believing Naomi’s warnings – basically every word she ever said to him in the past was crawling with deception. And yet, Cass didn’t hesitate when Dean asked to be taken to Sam. I didn’t think it was possible, but my love for Castiel actually expanded in this episode. You could now fit about six full-grown elephants into the space occupied by my Cass Adoration (previously it was four). And apparently, I’m not the only one with a soft spot for our favorite wing-boy – although Metatron stole Castiel’s Grace, I did not see this as an act of intentional cruelty. It was almost more like Metatron was doing Castiel a favor – sparing him the painful fall from Heaven, making it possible for Cass to one day return to Heaven, and, above all, turning Castiel into what he’s been slowly becoming all along: a flesh and blood human.

Metatron: I swear, I just got done saying that he was on the up-and-up, and he turns around and proves me wrong! Not just a little bit wrong, either – very, VERY wrong. I should have listened to that uneasy voice in the back of my head when Metatron enlisted Cass to help kill an innocent creature. I should have known then that Metatron was up to something nefarious. The cool thing about being wrong, though, is that I got to be surprised. I always get a shiver when the angelic little boy gets a murderous gleam in his eye, or the sword-wielding, muscle-bound hero doesn’t end up saving the day after all. Predictability is a snorefest. Twists make for awesome television. I loved the twist of Metatron having very different intentions than he led everyone to believe, and I really loved that even after we found out what he was up to, I still found him to be likeable. His motives were understandable and his anger was just. Top it off with the fact that he seemed genuinely fond of Castiel, and you have a complex, shades-of-grey character I can’t wait to meet again.

Special FX: There’s really only one thing to talk about, isn’t there? The image of thousands of angels plummeting toward Earth like shooting stars, their bodies and wings burning up in the atmosphere. It was the very definition of unforgettable. The show probably blew its whole budget for the episode on that one scene, and it was TOTALLY WORTH IT. I gasped aloud at the sight, thinking it was the best effect I’d ever seen, movies included. Even now, three months later, I still feel that way. Major props to the FX team. Major, major props.

Last Licks: It was a season of kick-a$$ mythology, but less-than-excellent character writing. Carver proved himself more than capable of handling Supernatural’s plotlines, bringing in new concepts like the Men of Letters, while keeping our old favorites, the demons and angels, front and center. At times, the brothers were OOC. Other times, they were spot on. When all the stars were in the right places and Jupiter was lined up with Mars, we got the kind of amazing episodes we haven’t seen since Kripke left. I remember a stretch of at least four or five episodes in a row that were just completely awesome. This gives me hope – bundles and bundles of hope. We know Carver can deliver angels and demons. We know he can deliver effects. The question is, did he learn from what worked and what didn’t in terms of Sam and Dean’s relationship? I’m hoping the answer is a big, water-bloated “yes.”

“Sacrifice” may not have been the most nail-gnawing finale we’ve ever seen, but as far as the cliffhanger part goes, it absolutely made the grade. Everything about this finale made me want to find out what will happen next – Will the angels have any powers on Earth? What will they do down here? What will Castiel do, now that he’s human? Will he even have any memory of his life as an angel? What happens to the vessel, Jimmy, now that Cass is fully flesh and blood? And what about poor Crowley, who’s been left in limbo, mere inches from becoming human again? Can someone else finish the ritual for Sam, or would that be too risky?

Those are the questions that have been nibbling at me all summer. Those, and one other minor issue: What about SAM??? He was going to die if he didn’t finish the tasks, right? And he was going to die if he DID finish them – so what’s going to happen to him? How can he possibly live, if he’s damned either way?

I know I’ll be tuning in to find out. Even though we’re on a new night (TUESDAYS, 9/8c) my schedule will always make room for Supernatural. I have faith in you, Jeremy Carver, so don’t let us down! And don’t you dare kill Sammy!!

Writer, Edit Thyself

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Self-editing. Some days, it’s a pleasure – like sharpening your brain’s claws on some rough, craggy tree bark. Other days, it’s pure torture – you can feel every slash of the red pen as though it’s a scalpel ripping at your flesh. One thing’s for sure, though: no matter what kind of day you’re having, self-editing is an important part of getting a piece ready for its journey out into the publishing world. So here are a few articles to make the process less painful, more productive, and – yes, I’m going to say it – more fun.

The first article, “The 7 Deadly Sins of Self-Editing,” comes from the highly-useful archives over at Writer’s Digest. Reading about these common self-editing pitfalls can help you identify your weaknesses when it comes to your own writing – and maybe, just maybe, learn to overcome them.

As far as my own self-editing experiences go, I’d have to say that “Gluttony” probably tops the list. Sometimes, I fall in love with a fancy bit of phrasing or a long, flowery paragraph that simply has no place in the story. Sometimes, the thing that needs cutting is the scene that was the inspiration for the whole chapter, or even one of my precious cool things. It’s hard for me to cut those things, even when I know I should. That’s why, in addition to self-editing, I also rely on outside readers for valuable feedback. My writing group doesn’t know or care how many hours I slaved over a particular paragraph. All they know is that the paragraph breaks up the flow of the story, and needs to be removed. When I see that fat red Sharpie “X” scrawled across the section in question, my heart can finally accept what the back of my brain knew all along – and I can, with one last wince of hesitation, finally hit the delete button.

The second article, “Picture Books: Plan, Polish and Publish,” comes from children’s author Dori Chaconas. She takes you through every step of the creative process, from the initial birth of an idea, all the way to the final polishing of the story prior to submission. Chaconas shares her own personal strategies for self-editing, complete with wonderfully-vivid “before and after” examples. She demonstrates how to refresh boring clichés and really make your language sparkle with originality. She shows you how to trick your brain into thinking you’re reading your story for the first time (and not the fiftieth), and even discusses her policy on accepting criticism from her writing group.

I came across this article years ago and instantly saved it on my computer because it was just so chock-full of useful strategies and tips. It was written as a guide to picture book writing, but the bulk of the information applies to all forms of writing, and authors in any genre will be able to find something to take away from this excellent piece.

So, go forth and read! Take notes! Copy and paste! Figure out what your self-editing weaknesses are and how to overcome them. Learn how to take a seed of an idea and turn it into the most original, sparkling and polished story you are capable of writing.

And then…submit it :).

Mentalist Review: Episode 5×22 “Red John’s Rules”

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Review of Episode 5×22: “Red John’s Rules”
by castiello

 

Previews are misleading. My favorite shows keep trying to teach me that, yet apparently I still haven’t quite gotten the message. The previews for this episode were brief and vague, focusing primarily on an image of seven smiley faces and a brief shot of Cho running. My mind quickly jumped to “Red Sky in the Morning” (multiple smileys in one place) and I have to admit I was a bit less than enthused. The Season Two closer was a decent episode, but they completely skipped over some of the most interesting parts, including Jane’s rescue from the warehouse. I worried that the Season Five finale might suffer from the same shortcomings. I worried that the team would be rushing around after Red John the whole time, and we’d miss the little character moments in between. I worried that I wasn’t going to love the season finale of one of my favorite shows.

Thankfully, all that worrying was for absolutely no good reason. “Red John’s Rules” is yet another example of underwhelming previews leaving me completely unprepared for a stellar episode that I would happily rewind and re-watch – repeatedly.

Jane: The character revelations…wow. I mean seriously, wow. We’re used to Jane strolling around, all buttoned up in his little vest, keeping his past and his secrets chained and padlocked inside his heart…and then we get an episode like this, where we find out so dang MUCH all at once. It feels like being in an avalanche. All these details about Jane’s life and his history and his most hidden thoughts just come roaring down the mountain at the same time, and I can’t help but be swept away. It was “Cackle-Bladder Blood” all over again. There’s a reason that episode’s in my Top Five, and probably my Top Three. I remember feeling amazed while watching “Cackle-Bladder Blood” – we had rarely seen Jane so raw, we had never seen him so open. He talked with Lisbon about his wife, his carnival days, his wedding. It took my breath away, and so did “Red John’s Rules.” What looked like an action romp actually turned out to be a dark and twisty character piece peppered with wonderful friendship moments as well as some genuinely disturbing psychological scares.

Who’s a happy fan? **castiello raises her hand exuberantly**

Okay, so, the avalanche:

We discovered that Jane’s “happy memory” is a little girl named Lee Lee Barlow, balancing on her father’s outstretched arm. We learned that he spent some time in the care of Child Protective Services (no surprises there) and it wasn’t good time. We found out that some carnie families, like Patrick and Alex, only keep up the “psychic act” around marks, while others, like the Barlows, present themselves as clairvoyant at all times. We saw that Jane actually can snooze pretty soundly, if he’s sleep-deprived enough (Did you see how cute and tousled he looked when Lisbon finally woke him up?) And we learned that Jane still refuses to believe that anyone – including Red John – could actually be psychic, no matter how creepy and convincing the evidence is.

Speaking of Red John: Jane has finally narrowed down his suspect pool to seven people. Nay, seven men. Early on, he eliminated women. Eventually, he also came to eliminate people he’d met before his family was murdered (Why???), and people he only had a brief interaction with (I repeat: Why???). So now it’s down to seven. Both Bret and Brett are on there, as well as weirdo Kirkland, William-Blake-quoting Bertram, freaky Visualize guy Hafner, and a couple of dudes who were probably in a few episodes but their roles weren’t big enough that I recognized their names. Still no way to know if Lisbon told Jane about Hafner’s Visualize membership and his possible presence at the red barn, but at least creepy Ray made the list.

Jane’s reaction to Red John’s message at the end of the ep mirrored my own feelings of spiraling defeat: Jane put all that work into narrowing down that list, and it may have been for nothing. Red John might not even be on there, and even if he is, he knows exactly what Jane knows. Red John isn’t just five steps ahead – he’s fifty steps ahead. Every time Jane thinks he has the advantage, the rug just comes flying out from under him. I felt that more in this ep than I ever did before. Red John has never seemed smarter or more powerful, and it left us with an angsty cliffhanger and the promise of a thrilling Season Six.

Lisbon: Jane didn’t want to tell her the suspects’ names because she would start acting weird in front of those people and end up tipping them off. He strengthened his argument by including a dead-on, laugh-out-loud impression of Lisbon trying to put on a front. Some great, much-needed comedy in an otherwise shadowy episode. I love the funny moments between Jane and Lisbon almost as much as I love the intense, serious ones. In this ep, we got beautiful examples of both. Each little Jane/Lisbon scene was like tearing the paper off a birthday gift – surprising and wonderful in equal measure.

Interestingly enough, Lisbon is willing to entertain the idea of Red John being psychic. On the one hand, it would be cool if the show went there. Jane is so utterly and stubbornly convinced that nothing beyond his understanding could possibly exist. It would be a humbling moment for him. A huge turning point for his character.

OTOH, a psychic Red John would be a bit of a cop-out. Like, the writers realized they had no other way of explaining how Red John knows what he knows and does what he does, leaving a supernatural explanation as the only remaining option. I’d like to see them at least try to figure out a way to piece it all together in a clever, compelling, and real-world-believable way.

So, Lisbon was “lying in bed, thinking about Patrick,” eh? I don’t think I’m going to touch that one. I’m sure the fanfiction authors are already having a field day with that, so I’ll just let the party continue. I will say this, though: I loved how Lisbon and Jane were both more concerned about the other person than they were for themselves after their very disturbing encounter with Sean Barlow.

Cho/Rigs/Van Pelt: Weren’t in it too much, but I have a hard time complaining about that when we got so many fabulous Jane and Lisbon scenes. I did have to snicker when Rigsby tried to confess his and Van Pelt’s relationship to Cho, only to have Cho be like, “I already know. You and Van Pelt are having sex.” It was so sweet when Rigsby felt the need to clarify that they are also in love – not just having sex. Cho seemed to have a small but genuine reaction to that. He is happy for his partner. Long live the bromance! 🙂

Sean Barlow: Successfully redefined the word “creepy.” Everything from his physical appearance, to his mannerisms, to his voice – not to mention all the stuff he said.  Seriously, I shuddered. Multiple times. Jane’s old friend said Sean Barlow might actually be Red John. After seeing the guy for myself, I am so not ruling it out.

Lorelei: It was eerie to see her again – like a voice from beyond the grave. I imagine Jane felt the same way. (Major points to the wardrobe people for remembering the bandage on her arm, btw.) The ease with which Red John got her back under his control is scary to the nth degree. She was totally complacent – almost contrite – as she followed her Master’s final instructions. I mean, sure, he had a gun pointed at her. Sure, she was trying to spare herself hours of pointless torture, but still…I got the feeling she would have cooperated anyway. That even with the knowledge of RJ’s involvement in her sister’s murder, Lorelei never did fully break free of his control. I also got the feeling that she was, above all, genuinely sorry.

Red John: Seems to know a lot of things he should have no way of knowing. Some things are explainable, if you dig deep enough. Other things, not so much. So, let’s focus on what we do know:

The Happy Memory: Red John appears to have stolen a memory right out of Jane’s mind. Something Jane never told anyone about. If Red John isn’t psychic, how is that possible?

Option 1.) Red John was actually present at the scene all those years ago, when Lee Lee’s dad was holding her up. He witnessed the happy moment right along with Jane. It was a happy memory for Red John, and since the two men are eerily similar in many ways, Red John knew that the memory would be significant for Jane, as well.

Option 2.) Hypnosis. Jane told Red John all about the happy memory, but doesn’t remember doing so. Jane and Red John were alone together in “Red Sky in the Morning,” a perfect opportunity for Red John to hypnotize Jane, extract whatever info he wanted, plant whatever suggestions he thought might be useful down the road, and leave Jane none the wiser.

By far the superior option, #2 goes a long way to explaining why Jane and Red John used practically the exact same phrasing when describing Lee Lee’s murder: Jane: “It’s as if Red John reached into my mind, took my happy memory, and killed it.” Red John: “I am going to take a happy memory, something you’ve never told anyone about, and I’m going to kill it.” Also, remember how twitchy Jane was after RJ had him in that Saran Wrap chair? For the first half of Season Three, Jane was flipping out whenever people touched his shoulder. Kinda reminds me of how cagey Rigsby was after that bad lady in “Russet Potatoes” (sorry, can’t remember her name – it was four seasons ago) turned him into a hypnotized minion. Rigs had no idea he’d been compromised, and the same could be true for Jane.

The Handshake: Red John knows what Lorelei said about the handshake, even though the words appeared to just rush out of her in a moment of anger. I didn’t think she even realized she’d said it. Neither did Jane. If she didn’t know she’d let something vital slip, how did Red John get that info out of her?

Option #1.) Lorelei really didn’t realize she made the slip, but Red John used hypnosis to take her back through all of her interactions with Jane, and she was able to recall accidentally revealing the handshake clue.

Option #2.) Lorelei is a great actress, and let the clue slip with full knowledge of what she was doing. She wanted to give Jane a little piece of the puzzle. Later, under Red John’s torture, she revealed to The Master what she’d done. (And he was “really mad.”)

Option #3.) Lorelei is a great actress who let the “clue” slip out on Red John’s orders. It was a false piece of info planted just to drive Jane nuts. Red John and Jane never did actually shake hands, and Red John is not even on Jane’s list of suspects. The Master gets the last laugh, as always.

The List: Red John successfully guessed every name on Jane’s list. If RJ can’t read minds, then how the crap did he do that?

Option #1.) Red John is actually that brilliant. He is actually that good at figuring out the inner workings of Jane’s mind. Starting with the handshake clue, Red John was able to comb through Jane’s history and select the candidates Jane himself would zero in on. (A highly unlikely scenario, bordering on impossibility.)

Option #2.) The names were easy to narrow down, thanks to a nice long gander at Jane’s private attic bulletin board. We know for sure that Kirkland’s people broke in, and others might have, too. Several of the suspects even work right in the building **cough**Bertram-and-Hafner**cough**. Even Jane knows that someone violated his space (thanks to the toothpick alarm), so he shouldn’t be too shocked that Red John has hijacked his research.

Option #3.) The names were planted in Jane’s mind by Red John himself, during the aforementioned Saran Wrap Chair Hypnosis Session. Everything – including Lorelei letting the clue slip – was part of an elaborate scheme to screw with Jane’s mind. Red John set this whole thing in motion years ago.

Final Thoughts: There are different kinds of finales. Some wrap up the season’s main storylines, giving viewers a sense of closure. Others dive headlong into edge-of-the-seat cliffhangers guaranteed to make fans tune in next fall. The very best finales, however, manage to do both – and “Red John’s Rules” lands squarely in this last category. The Payoff: After more than half a season of educated guessing and wild speculation, we are finally rewarded with the last seven names on Jane’s list. The Cliffie: Red John has decided to abandon a state of semi-retirement to become an active serial killer once more. He has issued a challenge to Jane, and the stakes have never been higher – or bloodier. I have no idea how many people will die next season, but one thing’s for sure: Jane and Co. are – and always have been – playing by Red John’s Rules.